defaults = {"first_name": "Bob"}
create_defaults = {"first_name": "Bob", "birthday": date(1940, 10, 9)}
try:
    obj = Person.objects.get(first_name="John", last_name="Lennon")
    for key, value in defaults.items():
        setattr(obj, key, value)
    obj.save()
except Person.DoesNotExist:
    new_values = {"first_name": "John", "last_name": "Lennon"}
    new_values.update(create_defaults)
    obj = Person(**new_values)
    obj.save()

obj, created = Person.objects.update_or_create(
    first_name="John",
    last_name="Lennon",
    defaults={"first_name": "Bob"},
    create_defaults={"first_name": "Bob", "birthday": date(1940, 10, 9)},
)